While I typically write about marketing, I thought I would take a pause from my current job search and offer this observation for your amusement. For clarity, I’m not single (sorry ladies). And, while this could apply to those seeking a new job while currently employed, I am saving the How a Job Search While Employed is Just Like Trying to Discreetly Have an Affair for those who know more about the topic than yours truly.
But what will it be? You’ve done some soul-searching and, after evaluating previous experiences, have a better understanding of your type. Perhaps you are seeking a life-long commitment (but, does that even exist anymore like it did generations before?). Or, maybe you aren’t sure of what would be considered a good match and want to play the field and not be tied down, staying with someone for only months at a time (but secretly wondering if it will become serious at some point).
Well, there are many ways to find your match. While putting on your best outfit and simply getting out there and meeting someone cold could work, it is very time consuming physically going from place to place. Frankly, it can be a meat market.
So, it is time to turn to the internet. There are so many options. There are free services, paid services, professionals who act as matchmakers… But, to start, you should probably stick with the more popular free sites.
Your bio is key. While it is expected you will put your best face forward, it is considered a best practice to remain honest. Make sure to put your highlights at the top, because if you don’t grab them in the first few seconds, you may go to the bottom of the pile. If you are older, perhaps try not to focus too much on your earlier days. Talk about your accomplishments and, depending upon whom you are targeting, show a little character!
You may notice you get inquiries to your profile right away. You are the new kid in town so to speak, so you may show up on several radars all at once. Just be cautious of the ones that seem desperate and want to offer you something without having even spoken with you yet. Scams exist, so don’t give out any personal information without researching them more fully.
Don’t be shy – it is time to put yourself out there and start reaching out. At first, you may have very high expectations and only stick with your type. But, eventually, you may want to venture outside of your original target specifics and broaden your options. You never know where that ideal fit will be. Just don’t get too discouraged if you send your bio out into the “black hole” and it never gets a response. It is their loss.
Score! You get a positive response and it is time for the initial phone screening. Do you share common experiences and values? Is there a cultural and personality fit? Can you see this person getting along with the other important people in your life? If so, you may make it to the next step… the face-to-face meeting!
While it is understandable to be nervous, you will feel more confident if you are better prepared. Go ahead and Google them! Check out their social media channels and see what others are saying about them. If you are still a little unsure how you may come across, ask a trusted friend to run some typical questions by you and see how your answers may seem (hint: avoid talking negatively about your ex).
The big day is here and it is time for that first impression. You are dressed to impress and got a new haircut. You’ve done your research and have several questions ready to go in case the conversation grows boring. Now comes the time to see if you feel this is a good match.
While visiting their place, it is natural to wonder if you can see yourself there. Is it newly remodeled or run down? Is it dull or bright and cheery? How’s the parking? The commute? Can you see yourself spending some late nights there?
At this point, the conversation may go well, or you may want to run from there quickly. Did you get good vibes or red flags? Do you hope they call you for another face-to-face meeting, or do you leave wondering if you will ever find the right fit?
If you do have interest, I don’t recommend you play coy. Send a follow up and let them know you would like to meet again. Otherwise, your silence may be seen as lack of interest and they will likely move on to other candidates. Just don’t seem desperate by reaching out too often, as that can scare them off, as well. If for one of any numerous amounts of reasons you never hear from them again, just realize you have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding the right match.
Just get out there! Try online sources. Go networking. Hire a matchmaker. Let your network know you are looking because you never know if they know someone who knows someone. Above all, remain confident in yourself and your abilities. The right one is out there just waiting for you.
My Personal Ad
Hi, my name is Rick and I’m looking for someone who shares my passion for marketing and building brands. Are you seeking someone who is creative, can balance strategy and execution, and has experience getting things done? If so, I’d love to start a conversation and see where things go. You can check out my bio here. Curious what others are saying about me? Click here. I am not into long-distance relationships, so I’m looking within a 25-mile radius of Somerville, NJ. I am seeking a monogamous, long-term commitment, so only serious inquires, please.
Rick Verbanas has brought his passion for marketing to Fortune 500 companies, small businesses and not-for-profits. He strives to stay current in the latest marketing best practices, and provides a weekly roundup for your news and enjoyment. To subscribe to future blogs, please enter your email address on the left hand side of the page.